I keep getting the feeling lately, that something out there is trying to cut me a break, and giving me a second, third, and fourth chance to turn this project around, that this could be what I'm great at, and I shouldn't miss out on this opportunity....

I feel now though that all my chances are up, even this close to the deadline I can't pull myself together sometimes...and it effects my work. I mean I hate to say this, (but this is my doubt speaking...) even if I did get into GFW...I probably would feel that I didn't deserve it...

There are so many more people who can hold it together ALL the time and can balance everything, so why should they not get it instead?

Trying to find worth in my work is getting really tough - probably because I am still attempting to find worth in myself again.

Self-fulfilling prophecy perhaps....

I am so scared of being a failure that I almost bring it on to myself because I can't see past that fear. I let it overwhelm me and take over my world. 

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all"

- Oscar Wilde

(How true...)