Tuesday, 30 March 2010

So today instead of focusing on myself and MY studies...I did a favour for a friend/friend of a friend. I lent some of my clothes from my last seasons collection to a 3rd year fashion photographer. But I forgot to give her the clothes yesterday and had to rush to bring them in and press them this morning. I don't mind lending them, it just meant that I forgot my Pattern Folder (which contained every single one of my patterns) because all my hands were full with my garment bags - which meant that I couldn't do any work.... AND I also couldn't go home because I had to pick the garments up at the end of the day...

So I loitered in the library, feeling quite hopeless and really upset about what an unproductive day I was having...

Of course, I was able to do some photocopying that I had been planning to do previously for about a month now...

Moral(s) of the Story:

1. I can't say 'No'

2. I tend to procrastinate on my work by helping other people do their work,

3. Makes me feel less guilty about not doing MY work - "I'm HELPing them..."

4. I am now a Photocopy Wizard - yeah, I CAN tell you how to switch from A4 sheets to A3 sheets....

That is all....

for now,

I think.


Monday, 15 March 2010


It's hard to keep motivated on a day to day basis. This final collection that we are all stressing over because of Graduate Fashion Week in June, is definitely taking over our lives. And sometimes I DON'T WANT TO COME IN - because the work can become very monotonous, but you know what really doesn't help? Meetings like the one our year experienced today...

I know our whole year is behind, and fair enough that has to be said, but to be reminded everyday? - really?

To be honest I was absolutely fuming today. It's hard enough trying to balance everything and have no life due to this fashion course, but it's even harder to have to keep picking yourself up after every deflating meeting or chat that is had saying were 'not working hard enough, not in the studio enough, we should all be done this, that and the other by now, and we can't make up for lost time, we basically should be working all through our Easter break now, if we really care about what were doing....' etc...

Are you kidding me?

They put everyone under the same umbrella, but let me say there is quite a few of us who are in everyday, who put the hours and the energy into our work. AND Who have the passion and drive to make it work!!!  

If were ALL behind...then maybe it's not our fault completely....(?)
Majority rules you know....

Well I was mostly angry with hearing the same thing over and over again, 
Were behind, yeah we get it, even if we keep getting told, that's not going to change anything, so how about actually dealing with the situation at hand as it stands, and creating a positive atmosphere instead of a negative one..

I definitely was not the only person who was upset by what was said...

As motivational speeches go, that one goes down in the books as one of the worst.

Tomorrow is another day,



Saturday, 6 March 2010

Secrets & Protection (EMP)


There is always two sides to every story, looks can be deceiving.
It's what goes on behind closed doors that is the unknown - that is what we call a 'secret'. 
It's also known as self preservation, (a preferred method of mine) - a natural guard or coated protection that we give ourselves so that we don't have to feel vulnerable. It is a mask that is worn everyday which portrays a superficial facade in order to accommodate to the people around us. We try and protect ourselves by hiding from others what we think they can't handle...but are we really protecting them? or are we really just trying to protect our own agendas in an attempt to continue the torturous routine that we have become accustomed to?

Something to ponder...


Although if there is one optimistic thing I have learned recently, it is that...

 "Happiness is only real, when shared." -  'Into The Wild' (good film)

That's all for now,



Yes, I do realize it is 2:46 in the morning, but I can't turn my brain off...

between having a stage review next week, along with personal side projects and other personal $h!T3...I just can't seem to organize myself or my life for that matter.

The pile of laundry is growing, my room doesn't have a visible floor, and I think I have a weeks worth of dishes sitting on my desk...


You know those people who when pressure is applied they succeed and thrive under those strenuous conditions?

Well I am not one of those people.
I feel as if I am definitely crumbling.

There is an unbelievable amount of pressure for this final year, this final collection in these final few months. I am so passionate about what I am doing, and design, but it's that passion that scares me - what if my skills can't match up to my passion and to my goals. What if everything I have dreamed of is all really a lie because I have believed in something that isn't possible to attain. Did you know less than 1% of people within the fashion industry become designers. Yeah, I don't think I thought enough about my career before jumping into this vast sea of clothing and designers. I don't want to drown, I want to float- I want to be on top! YES!

Here are some toiling photos - I have been really inspired by working with medical materials such as the bandages and face masks. I think I have come up with some really neat stuff, let's just hope other people like it as well. Anyways here's what i have so far...let's see what else I can manage to push out in the next two days - I will be impressed if I even have 3/6 outfits to show on Wednesday - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 

Wish me luck!